It was never a secret that I didn’t like my job – ever.
One year, while out to dinner with my team (around the time of Thanksgiving), we went around the table to say what we were thankful for.
People said their family, or their children. Others talked about an experience they were grateful for. It was all very heartfelt and when it was my turn I knew I wanted to be as authentic and honest with my team as they had been with me so, I said (through tears):
“I am grateful for all of you because without you I would not survive this work – I fucking hate my job so much – so thank you for being there for me”.
You might be thinking “What the fuck – you said that?” and you might be justified in your surprise, but it was the honest, raw truth for me. And my team knew it. They felt it. And they were there for me.
But the part where I said I was grateful for all of them was even more true. In that group of people I worked with that year I found belonging, connection, acceptance and love.
We cared so much about one another and it showed. Team members shared their secrets and struggles with me – and me with them.
We leaned on each other and helped each other get all of the work that needed to be done, done. No man for himself. Ever. We all stayed late and came early when another team member needed help or we needed to get a deliverable out the door.
We went to dinners together and laughed together …I am pretty sure I cried a few times too. That is how connected and safe I felt. That team made me feel SEEN and I hope I did the same for them.
The point of this story may not be what you think it is. While it is about friendship and connection, it’s really about the fact that, in doing something I hated, I literally found my purpose. I left that project (and that team) KNOWING that I was meant to connect with people. To listen to them and to make them feel seen.
This was the catalyst to be becoming a life coach – I wanted to make others feel as I had felt working with that team .
See, even though I hated the actual work…even though it felt meaningless and purposeless and soul-sucking….I learned that connection comes to us in our moment of need. And that purpose can be found in the darkest places if you are willing to look.
If you are in a soul-sucking job and you are reading this, here is what I offer: Try to find your purpose in the dark…it may completely change your life, like it did mine.
And to the people who were a part of that team (you know who you are) – thank you.
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