There are times in life where everything feels hard.
I am just coming out of a time like that – my business felt hard, parenting felt hard, working out felt hard – everything.felt.hard.
During that time, all of the negativity that my brain offered felt SO TRUE.
It’s not working.
Nothing I do matters.
Maybe I just give up.
I am a terrible Business Owner / Parent / Spouse / Human
I felt ALL the feels.
Shame.
Frustration.
Anxiety.
Hopelessness.
And many times I heard these thoughts and had these feelings and just decided to believe them. Decided they were true.
And that’s ok – I’m human after all. And so are you.
You are going to experience these hard times too. And they might take you down – but how long you stay down is up to you.
I decided I’m done being down. So I asked myself:
Is it true that things aren’t working? How can I take what I think isn’t working and offer it as “proof” that it is?
For example: I made an offer to someone that I felt genuinely good about and they rejected me. It hurt.
But, if I am looking for how things are working FOR me, this “rejection” means that someone who is NOT for me, has cleared the path for someone that IS.
OR, my offer was so clear that this person knew right away that it wasn’t for them – they didn’t even need time to think.
I’ve found this approach of seeing how everything happens “for” me instead of “to” me or “against” me not only feels better, but puts me back in control of my life and takes me out of victim mode. AND if I am in control that means I can do something and I get to choose what that is – take a new action, define a new way of thinking that is more empowering, or see a new possibility where there used to be none.
When I approach things from a belief that things happen “to” me or “against” me I am out of control because I am in blaming mode – making something or someone else responsible for the results in my life. And if someone or something else is responsible, I have no control or choice.
While it may feel “easier” to make someone else responsible (because then you don’t have to do anything differently), it robs you of the opportunity to intentionally create your life. It’s essentially giving up control and saying “Here – you take the wheel. I just want to be a passenger on this ride”.
My guess is you don’t want to just be a passenger in your own life – you want to be the one calling the shots and creating your results on purpose.
If this is the case, I highly recommend that you find ways to celebrate what IS working, even when it feels like it isn’t. For me, this is a daily practice of celebrating the big and the small things and keeping track of them somewhere I can refer to easily on days when it is especially tough.
Oh, and spend a little time feeling ALL the feels first – you are human after all and that’s a beautiful thing♥️
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